1. I’m not even five feet tall, you see, so people sometimes think I’m like TWELVE! *wails*
2. It annoys me that when I’m at the bookshop, I sometimes have to ask the booksellers to get books for me because I’m short.
3. Same thing as at the library, except I go look for the ladder and climb instead, but the top shelf is still almost out of reach. One day I’ll topple off and have to sue the library.
4. I have to tailor every bottom I buy. Pants, skirts, jeans etc. They are always way too long. If I buy three-quarter pants or capris, they turn into ankle-length pants.
5. It has to be really short, or full-length. What? Skirts and pants. And really short skirts are bad because I’m a tomboy and will forget to cross my legs and embarass myself.
6. When I’m out shopping in a crowd, I can never spot the people I’m with. Unfortunately, because I’m short, they can’t spot me either.
7. Too long sleeves. Because my legs are short, my arms are too.
8. Too long shirts. I once bought a man’s dress shirt that I could have worn as a dress. Could have being the operative words. I didn’t actually try that.
9. People call me petite. Look, I’m short. Call me short. I don’t mind. I prefer it to petite. Petite rhymes with cute and I refuse to allow cute to be associated with my person.
10. Bitches who go “My, you’re tiny! Where does all that food go?” in a sneering tone of voice. I’ve a kick-ass metabolism. Insinuate that I’m a bulimic again and I will slap you silly and stuff your head into a toilet bowl.
11. My nieces/nephews are all going to be taller than me. That’s a whole generation who are going to think it funny to grab whatever it is I’m looking for and hold it above my head like I used to do them. Must work on my Meanness Quotient, or MQ.
12. All tables and chairs are at the wrong height for me. Makes life difficult in the kitchen especially. And I spent many miserable years sitting in front row in school.
13. People who think I’ve image issues about being short. No I don’t. I have practical issues, see 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11 and 12.
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